Martha Speaks: Cinema Canines

Martha: * hiding* Pssst! *whispers* Hi, there. It's me, Martha.  But I don't want anyone to know I'm here. That's sort of what today's episode is about. Listen for today's words like "Identity", "Disguise", "Undetected" and "Conspicuous".  Keep your ears open for them, and I'll see you after the show.

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One Thursday morning started off with Martha still sleeping on her chair.  At this time, Martha was aware that it was morning, but she was still dozing off because her brain and body were not quite ready to wake up yet. Well, there was one part of her body that was ready, and that was her stomach.  When she wasn't expecting it, it woke her up by letting out a very loud, hungry growl. Martha woke up with a yelp. She started to panic thinking it was a monster. Suddenly, she heard her stomach growl again. It startled her, but not as much this time. She then realized the sound was coming from her stomach.

"Oh, phew," Martha sighed with relief. "False alarm. That was just my stomach. Well, that was kind of embarrassing.  I sure am hungry this morning," she said as her stomach growled again. "If only the alphabet soup I eat would go to my stomach for once instead of my brain, then maybe I won't have this problem."

It wasn't long until Martha's family got up and had their breakfast. Helen, as usual, fed Martha and Skits their daily dish of alphabet soup.  Soon after that, Helen left for school.

Later that day, Martha and Skits were watching TV. Their favorite show, "Courageous Collie Carlo" was on. During the show's last commercial break before the end credits, Martha and Skits saw a commercial that caught their attention. A new Courageous Collie Carlo movie was coming to theaters, and it was premiering tomorrow!  

"Oh my gosh!" barked Martha wagging her tail like crazy. "A new Courageous Collie Carlo movie!  And it's coming to theaters tomorrow!  Isn't that exciting, Skits?"

Skits barked in agreement.

"I've got to tell Helen about this when she gets home!" Martha wagged.

Soon, Helen came home.

"Helen!" Martha called running up to her wagging excitedly.

"Wow, Martha," said Helen surprised. "You're awfully excited today."

"I just heard that a new Courageous Collie Carlo movie is coming out tomorrow!  I really want to go see it!"

Helen shrugged and responded, "You're the only one in this family who would want to go see that.  I don't think anyone else would."

"Ah, that's okay," said Martha. "Skits and I can just go to the theater alone."

"Not so fast, Martha," said Helen in a firm tone. "You can't just walk into a theater to see a movie. You need to pay for admission."

"Admission?" Martha asked confused.

"Yes," explained Helen. "Admission is money you use to pay to get in to see a show."

"I see," said Martha. Then she added, "Well, in that case, could I perhaps ask you for money so Skits and I can go to the movies tomorrow?"

"Absolutely not!" Helen said.

"What?" Martha gasped.

"Sorry, Martha, but we have much more important things to do with our money then have you go see some silly dog movie," said Helen.

Martha growled, "Well...fine!  I can probably make that money on my own anyway!"

"How are you going to do that?" asked Helen.

"We'll just go do some service," answered Martha. "Come on, Skits!  We've got some money to make!"

Skits barked as he followed Martha out the door.

Helen just shrugged in confusion and went upstairs to do her homework.

Meanwhile, Martha pondered how she and Skits could make money. They decided to start by asking some of their friends in the neighborhood.

They started with T.D.  T.D. said that he needed some help cleaning his room. Martha jumped in and got right on it, and Skits helped a little.

After they finished, T.D.'s mom awarded Martha with some money. It wasn't enough for the flick, so they decided to ask their other friends. T.D. went with them. They approached Milo and Truman. Neither of them had anything in mind, but seeing Martha and Skits together with T.D., they decided to team up and help Martha do favors for other people in the neighborhood. Of course, they did their best to avoid people they didn't get along well with like Ronald and Mrs. Demson.

Before long, Martha had earned just enough money to get her and Skits into the theater. "Great teamwork, guys!" said Martha. "Looks like Skits and I are ready to go see the movie of a lifetime!"

The next day, Martha told Helen, "Guess what, Helen?  Skits and I are going to the movies today, and we are going to pay admission using the money we've earned yesterday!  Isn't that right, Skits?"

Skits was holding in his mouth the envelope that held all the money he and Martha earned.

Helen looked doubtful. "Martha, I think I need to tell you something," she started to say.

But Martha just interrupted her by saying, "No need to congratulate me. Dogs are very smart animals. Courageous Collie Carlo, here we come!"  And off she went with Skits following her.

"Wait, Martha!" Helen called, but it was too late. The dogs were off. "Ugh. I'm sure she'll find out soon."

Martha and Skits soon arrived at the cinema. Martha was so excited. She and Skits walked up to the ticket booth.

"Excuse me?  Down here, Sir?" Martha called to the ticket clerk who looked down at her and Skits. "Yes, we would like two tickets for the Courageous Collie Carlo movie, please?"

"Can't you read the sign?" snapped the ticket clerk. "No dogs allowed in the cinema!"

"Really?" Martha huffed. "What nerve!"  She walked away grumbling with Skits following her.

"I can't believe it, Skits," Martha complained. "I so hate that no dogs allowed law!  After all that work and anticipation, we can't even go in and see the movie!"  Just then, she saw a man in an overcoat and fedora walk past them. This gave Martha an idea. "Or can we?" she puzzled. "Skits, we can still get in to see the movie!  But in order to do so, we will need a disguise."

Skits barked confused.

"Oh, a disguise is something people wear to hide their identity," explained Martha.

Skits made another confused bark.

"Identity?  That's who you truly are," said Martha. "Now, come on. I think we should go disguise our identity," said Martha to Skits as she lead them back home.

When Martha and Skits returned home, Martha approached Helen and asked her, "Say, Helen?  Do we happen to have a trench coat, a fedora hat, and a fake mustache?"

Helen looked confused at Martha's question, but she answered, "My dad might have a coat and hat in his closet, but I don't think we have any fake mustaches."  Helen wasn't sure what Martha needed all that stuff for.

"Hmm...I wonder where we can get one of those," wondered Martha.

Helen perked up, "Hey!  I can go ask T.D.  Maybe he has one!" She then went off to T.D.'s house to ask him.

"Thanks Helen," said Martha. "Skits and I will be here when you get back."

Martha then joined Skits who was digging through the upstairs closet.

"It looks like we will have to go to a later show, Skits," she said. "But at least we'll still see it."

Skits pulled out a coat and hat. It was just the kind Martha had in mind.

"Perfect!" she said. "Good boy, Skits!  Now, once Helen gets back, we can put our plan into action!"

Soon, Helen returned. She had with her the fake mustache Martha requested, which T.D. just so fortunately had.

"I wonder why you need all this stuff," said Helen.

"Well," Martha explained, "when Skits and I arrived at the cinema, we found out that dogs are not allowed."

"That's right," said Helen. "And that's why I refused to give you money to go see that movie. I tried to warn you, but you didn't listen."

"You're right, Helen," said Martha, "but it's okay now!  Skits and I just came up with a solution to our problem!  Now if I may have that mustache, please?"

Helen handed Martha the mustache, and Martha ran into the kitchen.

"Just stay there, Helen. Skits and I will be right out," Martha said. Then, she was out of Helen's sight.

Behind the wall, Skits was there along with the coat and hat he found.  Martha put the mustache on her nose.

"Okay, ready, Skits?" Martha asked.

Skits barked and nodded.

Martha slipped into the coat and hat putting them on. Then she got behind Skits and climbed onto his shoulders.

"Okay, Skits, here comes the tricky part: standing on your hind legs," said Martha.

Skits pushed himself off the ground. He wobbly stood on his hind legs with Martha on his shoulders. He tried to wrap his front legs around Martha's hind legs so she wouldn't fall.

"Easy...steady..." said Martha.

Skits whined a little.

Understanding what he was saying, Martha said, "Sorry, Skits. You can't be on top because you can't talk to people like I can. Besides, you're bigger than me, so you have to be on the bottom."

Skits understood, though he thought it seemed a little unfair that he was bigger than Martha, even though he was younger than her. Things have certainly changed since his puppy days.

The two dogs buttoned up the coat and wobbled out to show Helen.

"Well, Helen, what do you think?" Martha asked Helen's opinion.

Helen was surprised. "Well, this is something I've never seen you do before!"

"I'll say," said Martha. "With this disguise, Skits and I can sneak in to the theater and see that movie without getting caught!"

Skits poked his head out and barked and panted in agreement.

"I don't know," said Helen.  "It might seem a little conspicuous."

"Conspicu-what?" asked Martha.

"When something is conspicuous, it means it stands out, and everyone can see it," explained Helen.

"Oh, well, I think we look human enough. Besides, we'll be in the dark most of the time," said Martha as she pushed Skits' head back into the coat and buttoned it up. "Let's go, Skits!"

Skits started to walk, but the two of them started to lose balance. They began to fall forward, but Helen caught them just in time and pushed them back up.

"Skits should try to walk slower," said Helen.

"Yeah.  He's not used to walking like this," said Martha.

Skits whimpered.

"Well, if you're sure you can get in there undetected, then good luck," said Helen.

"Uh, just making sure," said Martha, "when you say undetected, you mean getting by without anyone noticing you, right?"

"Right," said Helen.

"Okay then!  We'll be back soon!" said Martha. "Let's go, Skits, but slow and steady, please."

Skits barked in response and started to carefully walk outside to the theater taking Martha and the disguise with him.

Helen opened the door for them.

"Thanks Helen," said Martha before Skits suddenly stumbled on the porch steps, but thankfully, they didn't fall.

Eventually, they made it back to the theater. It was a hard and tedious job for Skits, but they made it.

"Okay, Skits. We're here," Martha whispered to Skits. "You just carry me over to the ticket booth, and whatever you do, don't make a sound. I'll do all the talking."

Skits nodded in agreement before hiding again. Skits wobbled over to the ticket booth.

"Ah, hello, kind sir," said Martha in a disguised voice. "I would like one adult for the Courageous Collie Carlo movie, please?"

The ticket clerk printed out a ticket and handed it to Martha.

Martha grabbed the ticket with her teeth. "Thank you, sir," she said as she put the ticket in an upper pocket of the coat. Then, she clumsily placed half of the money on the counter for the clerk.

"Enjoy the show," said the clerk a little weirded out.

As Skits began to carry Martha into the theater lobby, he started to bark something at her. Not even listening to what he was trying to say, Martha panicked and tried to shut him up. "Shhhh!  Skits, you're going to get us caught!" she whispered.

Skits wanted to ask something to Martha, so he barked as quietly as he could.

Understanding his barks, Martha said, "Yes, I only bought one ticket, because we are not two dogs right now. We are one person. So we got a little discount."

Skits made a confused yet quiet bark.

"A discount is when you get to pay less for something than you normally would," explained Martha.

As they got inside the lobby, Skits got an idea. He quietly barked at Martha his idea.

"Oh, great idea, Skits!" said Martha. "Since we still have money leftover from our admission, now we have some money for popcorn!  Why didn't I think of that?  Good thinking, Skits!"

Skits panted and waddled over to the concession stand.

"Can I help you, sir?" ask the guy behind the counter.

Martha cleared her throat and spoke in her masculine voice again: "Yes. Give me one large popcorn, please."

"Sure thing," the employee said. He turned around and started filling up the popcorn container. Then, he asked, would you like butter on the popcorn.

Suddenly, Skits barked.

The guy turned around confused.

Martha blushed and sweat dropped. "Uh..." she pretended to cough. "Sorry about that. Um...yes, I would."

The guy shrugged and buttered the popcorn.

Martha took a good whiff. "Ahh," she said to herself. "There's nothing like the popping sound and the wonderful smell of good old movie popcorn."

Under the coat, Skits overheard Martha, to which he couldn't resist but lick his chops.

When the employee placed the popcorn on the counter, Martha did her best to place the money on the counter. "Keep the change," she said.  

Martha then tried to reach her paws out to grab the popcorn container. The coat sleeves were hanging over her paws. She managed to grab the container and lift it.

Some popcorn pieces fell onto the counter when Martha lifted the container. Skits poked his head out and licked up the pieces that fell.

"Skits!" Martha whispered, and Skits quickly hid again. Fortunately nobody around saw that happen.

As Skits began to walk towards the theater, Martha held tightly onto the popcorn. Although she felt a little bad about how she was treating Skits. It must be hard for him to be walking on his hind legs while carrying her under that stuffy coat while not being able to see where he's going. Little did she know, Skits actually found what he was doing to be kind of fun.  Martha knew that Skits loved to have fun, but was unaware of the fun he was having right now.

As they got closer to the theater, they passed by another employee. He said, "May I see your ticket, please?"

Skits stopped in his tracks.

Martha started to nervously sweat. Thinking quickly, she said in her disguised voice, "Yes. It's in my top pocket up here. Would you mind getting it out for me?  My hands are kind of full."

The man shrugged and did what Martha requested. He tore the ticket in half and put one half back into Martha's pocket. "Enjoy the show," he said.

"Thank you very much," said Martha.

Skits resumed walking. He wobbled a bit as he walked. Martha hoped they didn't lose balance.  Suddenly, Martha heard Skits underneath about to sneeze. Martha began to freak out. She knew that if he sneezed, it would be all over. She quickly moved her right hind paw and pressed it up against Skits' nose. Thankfully, it stopped the sneeze from occurring.

Martha looked up at a sign over a theater door they were in front of. It indicated that this was the theater playing the Courageous Collie Carlo movie.

"This is it, Skits!" Martha said. "Let's go!"

Skits panted and wagged his tail and then proceeded into the theater.  Martha directed Skits to the best available seat she could find. When they got to their seat, Skits leaned forward and placed his front paws on the seat.

"Atta boy, Skits!" said Martha as she carefully got off of Skits and onto the seat. The two dogs positioned themselves so they wouldn't look too suspicious and so that both of them could see the screen. Martha decided to keep her nose open just in case she caught a sent of an employee coming so they could quickly get back into their disguise if necessary.

The movie started. Martha and Skits were both very excited, but they both did their best to keep each other quiet because they didn't want to risk getting caught. Besides, they were in a movie theater, and they were supposed to be quiet anyway.

When the movie was over, Martha and Skits were satisfied. "Yeah!" Martha cheered, and Skits howled. Everyone in the theater turned their attention to the two dogs, but what they saw was just a man. Martha and Skits were already back in their disguise.

When the house lights came on, Skits was seated on the floor. Martha slid back onto his shoulders, and Skits stood upright to carry Martha out of the theater on his hind legs.  

However, as they were leaving, while out in the middle of the lobby, Skits suddenly tripped, and he and Martha fell.  A theater employee ran up to them. "Sir, are you alright?" he asked. For all he knew, Martha and Skits were a man, and he thought this "man" had fainted.

Martha groaned and got up. "Yeah, I'm okay sir," she said in a rather stiff voice.

Just then, Martha's mustache fell off.  The worker noticed this, and also saw Skits' tail peeping out of the other end of the coat. "Hey, wait a minute!  What is this?" snapped the worker.  He grabbed the coat and lifted it up revealing Martha and Skits.

"Uh-oh!" said Martha. "The jig is up, Skits!  Let's scram!"

Martha and Skits ran out of the theater as the employee gave chase. Skits felt relieved to finally be walking on all fours again, and Martha was relieved to finally not have to worry about balancing or getting caught.

"Get out and stay out!" yelled the angry worker as he tossed their disguise back out to them.

"Good thing he returned this," said Martha. "I'm sure Helen's dad will want it back.

Skits barked to Martha.

"Yeah, it's disappointing we got caught, but at least we made it in and saw the whole movie," said Martha. "It was well worth it, I tell ya!  Wouldn't you say, Skits?"

Skits barked in response.

"Yeah, but I'm sorry I had to put you through all that hard work, buddy," said Martha.

Skits barked in response.

"Say what?" Martha asked. "You said that was fun?  Well, I'm glad to hear it!"

That night after dinner, Martha told Helen all about her day with Skits.

"Sounds like you two had quite a day," said Helen.

"Yeah, and it was worth all that to see a movie of a lifetime!" Martha wagged.

"Well, I'm glad you found a way around it," said Helen. "Even though your attempt was a little cliche."

"Uh...what's cliche?" Martha asked curiously.

"A cliche is a worn out joke that everyone has seen or heard way too many times," explained Helen.

"Oh," said Martha. "You know what?  I think I remember seeing Collie Carlo do something like that in an episode of Season 3, so you're right. Maybe it was cliche.  Regardless, Skits and I still had fun doing it."

Skits barked happily.

"You want to do it again?" Martha asked Skits. "Maybe we should use some practice on the act first before we try doing it again...just to be on the safe side."

Everyone laughed.

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Martha: Did you catch all of today's words?  Let's hear some of them again.

Martha: A disguise is something people wear to hide their identity.

Helen: When something is conspicuous, it means it stands out, and everyone can see it.

Martha: Now, those are some secretive words.

Helen: Martha, are you hiding again?

Martha: Gotta go!  See you next time!